This triple threat prank is way too funny! Nasty, but nonetheless hilarious! lol
The Triple Threat Prank - Watch more Funny Videos
Source: break.com
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'
'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'
'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?'
There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.
Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'
If they only knew..
On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.'
'You know where the button is,' I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. 'Reset it yourself!'
'But I'm scared!' she persisted. 'What if it starts going and sucks me in?'
There was a meaningful pause and then, 'C'mon, it'll only take you a second.'
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 'fight or flight' syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.
The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.
Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
'What's the matter?' They all asked, 'Cat got your tongue?'
If they only knew..
Gotta love these funny pictures of inventions. I know I do! lol
Taco Purse
Porcelain Made Dress
Human Monorail
Above 3 pictures were found on www.isamansworld.com/2008/07/shweeb-world-first.html.
New Zealanders are the masters of adventure sports and the latest is the Shweeb which is located in Rotorua at Agroventures, The Shweeb is the world's first human-powered monorail racetrack, The Shweeb consists of high performance pedal powered vehicles hanging from two 200m long overhead rail circuits which vary in height between two and four meters above the ground.
The pods swing from side to side and as your speed picks up, you swing more around corners (up to 60 degrees). A single rider can reach speeds up to 45kph and teams can exceed 70kph, Each pod has seven gears. Read more
New Zealanders are the masters of adventure sports and the latest is the Shweeb which is located in Rotorua at Agroventures, The Shweeb is the world's first human-powered monorail racetrack, The Shweeb consists of high performance pedal powered vehicles hanging from two 200m long overhead rail circuits which vary in height between two and four meters above the ground.
The pods swing from side to side and as your speed picks up, you swing more around corners (up to 60 degrees). A single rider can reach speeds up to 45kph and teams can exceed 70kph, Each pod has seven gears. Read more
Condiment Gun
Motion Activated Radio
Lavitation Bed
Flipper Heels
Cardboard Motorcycle
3 Person Foos Ball
Bird House Security Camera
There's a lot of Maxine fans out there (included myself), and I can see why. Here's some of my all time favorites so far.
These are just hilarious. I love Maxine jokes. She's such a riot. LOL
I never get tired of housework - I don't do any.
When guests come to visit I just put down dropcloths and say, "We're painting."
I never get tired of housework - I don't do any.
When guests come to visit I just put down dropcloths and say, "We're painting."
Another Favorite of the Maxine jokes..
THIS SURE SOLD ME!
I AM GOING
TO THE DOLLAR STORE TODAY
& GET A DOZEN!
Good Housekeeping Tip
Another Maxine Tip ...
Always keep several
get well cards on the mantle...
So if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.
TO THE DOLLAR STORE TODAY
& GET A DOZEN!
Good Housekeeping Tip
Another Maxine Tip ...
Always keep severalget well cards on the mantle...
So if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.
This is a hilarious Maxine Cartoon.
Meet Marvin, Men's answer to Maxine!!!
Meet Marvin, Men's answer to Maxine!!!
Men strike back!How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle it!
AND MAXINE SAYS............'MARVIN'...
Next time,
I will take the pictures.. AND
YOU can let the f****n bear out!
"Uh... No, next time MAKE SURE the bear is SEDATED!"
I will take the pictures.. AND
YOU can let the f****n bear out!
"Uh... No, next time MAKE SURE the bear is SEDATED!"
Imagine being on a tour when all of a sudden this happens?? wtf!
Holding the sun
Edge of the Hurricane
Fire-Starter
Amazing Cloud Formation
You Light Up My World
Not a Good Day For Surfing
Picture of the year! Absolutely incredible
Only in China - Swimming Pool
Only in Hawaii
Only in India
Only in Texas
Only In Thailand
And last, but not least....
Only In America
Some pretty wicked moments caught on camera. So cool.. :)
Edge of the Hurricane
Fire-Starter
Amazing Cloud Formation
You Light Up My World
Not a Good Day For Surfing
Picture of the year! Absolutely incredible
Only in China - Swimming Pool
Only in Hawaii
Only in India
Only in Texas
Only In Thailand
And last, but not least....
Only In America
Some pretty wicked moments caught on camera. So cool.. :)
